Peter's Jokes
Christian's "Epic" Story
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Elijah: Oh. That must be Jesus and Maid Marian (picture in a children's Bible of Jesus and the Samaritan woman).
Peter: Government sounds a lot like long division.
Berea: Oh MY, Jose!
Tirzah: You know how to tell the difference between the twins? We both look like ME!
Berea: Do you know what I want to be when I'm grown up? A doctor. Do you know why? Because I have THREE Hello Kitty band aids. All in a row.
Tirzah: When you blink do you see unicorns? I do.
Tirzah: Mama! Helping doesn't mean just you do it- it means that I do it, too!
Berea: This nightgown is fascinating!
Elijah (doing homework): Can I just read these words to you?...Ok, I'll try to do it with my eyes closed.
Peter: We're making ancient ruins!
Elijah (picking out a song to sing after Bible time): Oh, I know! That one!...you know... the one that sounds like a painting! (How Great Thou Art)
Tirzah (singing after Bible time): I was singing in cursive! That means Spanish.
Berea: Mama, have I been married yet?
Anne takes her temperature with the ear thermometer. When it beeps, she says, "98.4". Elijah says, "Whew. I thought it was a bomb."
Berea: Mama, my leg burped.
Berea: When we go to the doctor can I be the first to be a-doc-ted?
Tirzah: This destruction was caused by Kale'a!
Peter: This cat is vibrating on me.
Daddy: Every time I close my eyes, I see posts! (He'd been making wooden posts in his shop)
Berea: Every time I close my eyes, it gets darker!
(Christian brought home some pork for making chalupa...)
Peter: What's this pork for?
Anne: It's for chihuahua.
Peter: Chewbacca?
Anne: When girls grow up, do they have Eve's-apples?
Berea, watching old home movies: "Look! It's baby ME! And other baby me!"
Tirzah: I'm a BIG girl. (pointing to Berea) SHE's a little girl.
Mama: Elijah, who's your favorite super-hero?
E: GOD
E to twins: Do you want the Hungry Monster to get you?!!!
T: YES!
E: But you two are my precious treasures!
E, in the middle of the night, after Mama had gotten up with the twins several times.... Mama...MAma...MAMA, etc.
Mama, finally, going in to his room: What is it?
E: I love you!
E, standing on Mama's feet while walking: Mama, I'm helping you walk!
E: Dad, you're missing all the red lights.
D: Well, that's a good thing- that means we can keep going!
E: I'm gonna have to tell Mama about this.
P: Love is a gift from God. God made love. We should love others. If we don't love others, it's like throwing away a gift from God."
E: The mail's home!
A: Dudes are bald. Dudes are never bad guys.
E: (around midnight) Mom...Mom...MOM!!!
Mama-tired and cranky- What?!
E: I can't find my water bottle.
Mama-eventually- here it is.
E: I'm not thirsty.
(Daddy was talking about the Pharisees in family devotions)
E: Then they got mad and threw him (Jesus) to the whale with hungry animals!
P: I'm afraid Mamas just can't be trusted with loose teeth.
E, looking through my makeup drawer: Is THIS your secret weapon?
A to P: I found a dead spider under my pillow this morning!
P: Good thing it wasn't a snake.
A to E: Wanna smell my toes? Can I smell yours?
E: Lemme take my socks off.
A: Mmm, delicious!
A: I have music stuck to my head...every time I sing something my head repeats it.
E, singing: "I got peas by a river in my soul!"
E: Anne had a dream about a volcano. And it's STILL in her head. But she hasn't blown up yet.
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Kids' Conversations
Tirzah: How do you spell "FCF"?
Tirzah: I made a sign so bumblebees won't come in our room.
Tirzah: UHH! I made a picture!
Anne: Whew! My headache's gone! All I needed was some chaos and a good, old fashioned argument!
Tirzah: Look at the cars, Mama! They're playing traffic!
Peter: Government sounds a lot like long division.
Berea: Oh MY, Jose!
Tirzah: You know how to tell the difference between the twins? We both look like ME!
Berea: Do you know what I want to be when I'm grown up? A doctor. Do you know why? Because I have THREE Hello Kitty band aids. All in a row.
Tirzah: When you blink do you see unicorns? I do.
Tirzah: Mama! Helping doesn't mean just you do it- it means that I do it, too!
Berea: This nightgown is fascinating!
Elijah (doing homework): Can I just read these words to you?...Ok, I'll try to do it with my eyes closed.
Peter: We're making ancient ruins!
Elijah (picking out a song to sing after Bible time): Oh, I know! That one!...you know... the one that sounds like a painting! (How Great Thou Art)
Tirzah (singing after Bible time): I was singing in cursive! That means Spanish.
Berea: Mama, have I been married yet?
Anne takes her temperature with the ear thermometer. When it beeps, she says, "98.4". Elijah says, "Whew. I thought it was a bomb."
Berea: Mama, my leg burped.
Berea: When we go to the doctor can I be the first to be a-doc-ted?
Tirzah: This destruction was caused by Kale'a!
Peter: This cat is vibrating on me.
Daddy: Every time I close my eyes, I see posts! (He'd been making wooden posts in his shop)
Berea: Every time I close my eyes, it gets darker!
(Christian brought home some pork for making chalupa...)
Peter: What's this pork for?
Anne: It's for chihuahua.
Peter: Chewbacca?
Anne: When girls grow up, do they have Eve's-apples?
Berea, watching old home movies: "Look! It's baby ME! And other baby me!"
Tirzah: I'm a BIG girl. (pointing to Berea) SHE's a little girl.
Mama: Elijah, who's your favorite super-hero?
E: GOD
E to twins: Do you want the Hungry Monster to get you?!!!
T: YES!
E: But you two are my precious treasures!
E, in the middle of the night, after Mama had gotten up with the twins several times.... Mama...MAma...MAMA, etc.
Mama, finally, going in to his room: What is it?
E: I love you!
E, standing on Mama's feet while walking: Mama, I'm helping you walk!
E: Dad, you're missing all the red lights.
D: Well, that's a good thing- that means we can keep going!
E: I'm gonna have to tell Mama about this.
P: Love is a gift from God. God made love. We should love others. If we don't love others, it's like throwing away a gift from God."
E: The mail's home!
A: Dudes are bald. Dudes are never bad guys.
E: (around midnight) Mom...Mom...MOM!!!
Mama-tired and cranky- What?!
E: I can't find my water bottle.
Mama-eventually- here it is.
E: I'm not thirsty.
(Daddy was talking about the Pharisees in family devotions)
E: Then they got mad and threw him (Jesus) to the whale with hungry animals!
P: I'm afraid Mamas just can't be trusted with loose teeth.
E, looking through my makeup drawer: Is THIS your secret weapon?
A to P: I found a dead spider under my pillow this morning!
P: Good thing it wasn't a snake.
A to E: Wanna smell my toes? Can I smell yours?
E: Lemme take my socks off.
A: Mmm, delicious!
A: I have music stuck to my head...every time I sing something my head repeats it.
E, singing: "I got peas by a river in my soul!"
E: Anne had a dream about a volcano. And it's STILL in her head. But she hasn't blown up yet.
Followers
About Me
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- -A.
- Born in Nor. Cal., lived 8 years in West Africa, now a bunch of years in AZ! Mom of five super kids, wife of my hero, child of the Most High. Always learning, striving, hoping, loving, and believing.
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