Here's an article I just read by Rachel Jankovic...just what I needed to hear today:
Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)
A few years ago, when I just had four children and when the oldest
was still three, I loaded them all up to go on a walk. After the final
sippy cup had found a place and we were ready to go, my two-year-old
turned to me and said, “Wow! You have your hands full!”
She could have just as well said, “Don’t you know what causes that?” or “Are they all yours?!”
Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you
shouldn’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they
would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that
you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the
grocery store, in line, while your children listen.
A Rock-Bottom Job?
The truth is that years ago, before this generation of mothers was
even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of
important things. When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.
Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below
the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body
at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children
rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is
what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you
should ever spend your time doing.
If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical
perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about
your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths
and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some
biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this
because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a
rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied
with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?
It's Not a Hobby
Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect
children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to
do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.
Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you
are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the
objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value
what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You
stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent
everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down
your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents
the gospel.
Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in
any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the
abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will
die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by
running into the arms of death.
Run to the Cross
But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to
the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay
down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay
down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean
house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down
the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.
Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people,
ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection
life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is
only possible when you have been to the cross and back.
The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loved them, and
we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the
Lord. We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children.
The Question Is How
The question here is not whether you are representing the gospel, it
is how you are representing it. Have you given your life to your
children resentfully? Do you tally every thing you do for them like a
loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gave it
to us—freely?
It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person
in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile,
but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you.
They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you
resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer
to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car.
Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a
stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her
smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.
Hands Full of Good Things
When my little girl told me, “Your hands are full!” I was so thankful
that she already knew what my answer would be. It was the same one that
I always gave: “Yes they are—full of good things!”
Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your
children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead
of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your
testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more
valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but
live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs
every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down
resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows
how hard you work.
Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy
and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can
possibly carry alone.
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-is-a-calling-and-where-your-children-rank